More than what I used to be Less than happy
by shatteredheartsbrokenlies
Summary: LALEY! Can Lucas do wat he does best? Can he save his best friend or what once was his best friend in a time of need? When after many years she moves back into his life will he except her with open arms?read and find out!lots of drama,tears,love,angst
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nada! not one single thing!  
**Rating:**Pg-13 if any higher there will be an announcement before that specific chapter  
**Summary:** Haley moved away back in her childhood years due to certain circumstances but is now back living with her mother, her old childhood friend, and his mother. When her hidden life of many years comes back to haunt her the people she feels close to in tree hill will be the only ones who can help her! Can Lucas save Haley from her sad and pained heart? Can their friendship rebuild now that they are both mature teens? will they find love in the end of this all? Well read and find out!

**As I stand afront this small familiar house a smile comes to my face. Though it may not shine as bright as previous times its present. Bringing my rather clammy hand up over my head i let my fingers run through the lose waves that rest against my scalp. Its a feeling I'm not at all used to. A sense of both peace and calm rushing through my vains as I follow my mother to the front steps. It has been nine years but everything still looks and feels exactly the way we had left it. As my mother knocks softly against the wooden door I can't help but bite the corner of my lip in anticipation. Six years is far to long to go without seeing those that matter most. Six years to any teenage girl can seem like a lifetime altogether. I only hope that they themselves have stayed the same. Like the outter demeanor of this very home, the people who nestle inside are ones I once recognized. Seeing him standing there when my gaze finally looks forward causes me to gasp in suprise. I looked to him wondering what his thoughts were seeing me here. After all he must have been expecting us. Sure he knew I would be coming. But the look on his face doesn't heal me like I had imagined. For some unknown reason I had made myself believe the moment our eyes met everything in my heart and mind, all the sadness and pain I had been feeling would dissolve. I predicted he would take me in his arms and for just a moment I would be brought back to the safe place; when everything was okay. But he makes no move for me. He doesnt even flash me his once adorably sweet smile. Instead he reaches out and grasps all of my mothers belongins before whispering a soft hello and then beckoning for us to come inside. Shaking my head a bit dissapointed I feel myself grow hot. Why was he dismissing me in this way? I thought after everything I had been through he would make it a main priority of showing his love and concern my way. Looking to my mother who was now in the arms of her former and dearest friend I can't help the tears that are building deep within me. Tears are no stanger to me. For it seems like with each day passing it becomes all the more normal to break out in hysterics. I thought coming here would change that. But watching my mothers exchange with her friend and knowing that is the kind of moment I should too be sharing with HIM i realize maybe i was foolish in dreaming my tears would soon subside. Reaching for the small rubber bands that rested against my wrist I slowly start to tug them gently before letting them fall back, snapping against my skin. Seeing me take part in this my mother releases herself from the warm embrace and turns to me with concern.**

"Haley dear are you alright?" She turns away from each of them and walks back towards me. I see the look in her eyes and it pains me. She's hurting just as much as I am. Hell it is likely that she may be hurting even more. And yet on top of all her pain I bring upon even more worry towards her. I can't help the way I am. I don't mean to bring greater sadness upon her. But as much as I don't want to and as much as I don't mean to deep down inside I know I do. Snapping another band against me I jump a bit at the contact it makes with my skin. The stinging burn it causes me brings even more tears into my eyes. I see them watching on. They both remain silent as they watch the interaction between my mother and I. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable but I focus in on my mothers voice.

"Honey what's wrong?" She brings a hand up to my face and immedietly I flinch. My eyes closing downward as my body reacts to its norm. I hate myself for reacting this way but in all honestly there is nothing more I can do. Whispering words of sorry I step back from her. Shrugging her arms off my shoulders I open my eyes once more to look back at them. He looks at me confused. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes gleaming with many questions. I drop my bags onto the hard wood flooring and step back even further. Reaching for the door I moments ago entered from I turn the knob quickly before stating.

"I need some air."

The wind hits my face as once again I am back out doors. I wrap my arms around myself as I waste not even a moment before rushing out of the yard and into the streets. Its not a strange land to me for I grew up here many years ago. Not much has changed and it is easy to find my way. It is only evening so its not exactly darkened out but the sun seems soon to set. My legs pick up pace as the wind whisps my face and flows through my hair. I feel bad for leaving like that but to much was taking place. They were viewing far more than they needed and everything was getting to unbearable. I just needed a moment to get away. To regain myself and calm down before returning. My strides becoming larger as I note my destination is right ahead. Just as I'm about to make way onto the black pavement a body brings me to a halt. Apparently I wasn't paying much attention for now two arms were holding tightly around my waist keeping me from falling. Strong arms I might add. Feeling nervousness in wondering just who had a hold of me I started to grow with panick and began struggling to remove myself. Kicking wasn't exactly an option considering the position i was in but I released many screams before hearing his voice alarm.

"Hot Damn girl. What the hell dawg?." Slowly removing his hold on me his words continued. "Let me get this straight. You plow into me with your scrawny california white $$ and then throw a damn tantrum for placing my hands on you. Shoot it aint even like that." Shaking his head and placing his hands on each side of his hips I finally come to recognition. The sound of his voice was all to familiar. And right now the most pleasing sound I have ever heard. Standing myself straight I look him over for the first time in nine years. My eyes taking in all that he now represented.

"Now before you go undressing me with yo eyes and all that. Come give me some lovin I be deservin." Opening his arms was the best welcome a girl could recieve. Quickly making way into his embrace I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and felt him too seal me in his arms. Breathing in his scent I pulled away for a moment before placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"God I missed you so much Skillz. It is so good to see you." This time I didn't even try in preventing the tears from falling. They came upon me quicker than ever before. My hand softly caressed his cheek before kissing him once again.

"Shoot girl you should go away more often if you be walking back here giving me hellos this good." Taking my hand in his he gestured for me to follow him. We together made way over to the old picnick table and rested ourselves atop it. His hand moving ever so slowly in wiping away each tear from my cheek.

"If this is my greeting I can only imagine all that you did to Luke. Damn Lucky $$ baller." It was the first time I released laughter. Those words spoken all to frequently way back when. Pushing Skillz playfully he nudged his shoulder into mine before his face grew serious. Looking in my eyes he scratched at his bald head before whispering.

"Something has deffinetly changed with you James. Your missing your fire. There is no excitment in those eyes of yours. Anything you feel like voicing baby girl?"

Nodding in agreement I took the hand of my childhood friend and held it softly between both of my own. Bringing it up ever so cautiously i placed a loving peck onto his knuckle before looking back over at him.

"Too many things. But we have other times to get into that kind of stuff. Right now I just want to enjoy being in your arms again. You have no idea how many nights i dreamed of my two best friends. My two best friends taking me into their arms and just holding me for a lifetime." Moving myself even closer to him I let his arm find its way around me. My head coming to lay against his shoulder and finally finding some peace I needed. The peace and security I had expected and knew to find within him and Lucas. At least one of them would follow through. One of them would make feel safety.

"No worries baby girl. I'd never think of letting you go."


	2. you never gave me what i needed

**I couldn't help myself as I paced back and forth against the carpet present in my room. My mother had told me days ago that both Haley and Lydia James would be coming to stay with us. Haley Anne James my once childhood friend. The girl who up until eleven years of age remained a constant in my life. She was also the girl who was taken away and moved to California by her mother Lydia and her mothers new found husband Carl six years ago. It pained me terribly when she left and of course I was happy in knowing we would see eachother again. But something is troubling me. My mom tells me they are staying here while they find a new place to live. It seems Carl wasn't all what was expected and Lydia divorced him months ago. From what my mom has told me they thought it was best to come back to Tree Hill where Haley could reunite with her old friends and Lydia could help manage my mothers cafe and night club. It seems like the most resonable and logical thing. But like I said something is still troubling me terribly. The way my mom speaks of Haley and Lydia its like there is some great sadness there. I feel there is more than what I have knowledge of and that concerns me greatly. As I ponder just what it could be that is kept secret I hear the knock patter against our front door and I quickly make way to answer. I can feel my mom behind me waiting in anticipation as I slowly reveal our visitors. I see her and she looks amazing. Her hair much lighter than i remembered and now instead of wearing it in a low pony tail I watch as it flows naturally in the wind. So many things differ about her. I notice all of this in the first seconds of seeing her stand there. The make-up she's wearing is a bit darker. Her long sleeve shirt a bit baggy and oversized. Her eyes a bit lost and unfocused. I hear her gasp in suprise at me. Had she noticed I was checking her out? My cheeks grow hot with embarasment and I remain silent as I reach for Lydias bag. Mumbling a quick hello as not to be rude I then gesture for them to follow me inside. I then make way aside my mother and smile at the greeting the two friends share. Their eyes both filled with tears as they cling to one another. Words of love tossed back and forth. I clear my throat trying not to get choked up myself. Really I'm starting to act like a chick. Skillz is right I have been hanging out with Brooke and Peyton far to much. Shaking off that thought I focus back in on the scene before me only when I hear Lydias concerned vocals call out.**

**"Haley dear are you alright?" My eyes instantly find their way to her and I notice a displeased frown present. It looks as if any moment she will burst into tears. Immediatly I move forward wanting to hold her in my arms by my mom stops me in the process. Her words whisper out and I nodd understanding.**

**"Just let her be Luke. You can talk to her in a minute." I stand there clenching my jaw but stay beside my mother. She's right Lydia can take care of her for right now. It suprises me how after all these years I feel the need in protecting my Haley. After all no matter how long the time she is still my girl, my best friend.**

**"Honey what's wrong?" Lydias voice is so weak as I watch her move a hand to comfort Haley. Her reaction was something I never saw coming. A look of fear immediatly crossing her chocolate brown eyes before she closed them down tightly and flinched herself backward. I shared a look with my mom almost questioning her to explain just what was going on. Haley seemed so broken. As well did her mother. I knew for sure there was more to the situation than I knew. It scared me to say the least that something could be harming them both so severely. Before I can register what happens next I hear Haley say she needs some air and makes a dash for the exit. None of us try and stop her. As once her best friend I know in times of pain Haley needs moments alone. She needs time to think things through and then she will return. I move closer to Lydia who is now in the arms of my mother and I let my hand drape over her small form. Lydia was like a second mother to me. She always treated me as if I was a son and was such a wonderful woman. I just couldn't understand what had shaken these once happy beings into these scared and fragile people that stood before me. Whatever it was. And whatever it may be I promise I will protect Haley with every fiber I have in me. Reaching for my jacket mom doesnt even ask where I'm off to. She knows where I am going. Maybe Haley needed some time. Maybe she needed to heal for a moment. But I wasn't going to let her do it alone. I wanted her to know I'd be there. I'd always be there.**

**Walking up the side step to my front door I sigh in exhaust in seeing the sight of her. I had been searching for what seemed to be hours. Checking all the places in which we once called our own hoping she would be there. Coming up short repeatedly I just decided maybe Haley didn't want to be found. So yep here I am back at point place looking at my main conquest. She has her head resting in her hands and I can make out the sound of her soft voice singing lightly to whatever tune that is playing in her head. Trying not to rile a scare up in her I give a small cough in making my presence known. Immediatly she raises her eyes to mine before nodding me over. I still am amazed at how different she seems to be. Of course several years can change a person but this is just beyond understandment. Setting myself beside her I toy with the rip in my jeans before speaking.**

**"So I been looking for you. Where did you take off to?"**

**"I ran into Skillz at the rivercourt." Nodding I listened silently as she continued. "We _talked_ for a bit."**

**The way she spoke her words. It wasn't in a harsh tone but they definetly were telling me something. She was displeased. But I just couldn't understand why. I was only in her prensence for minutes really. Could I have done something to upset her so soon?**

**"It was really nice. I mean we both have changed a lot but it felt right you know? It's like we picked up exactly where we left off." My eyes focused downward to her wrist. Her fingers gently tugging at the three yellow bands that resided there. Cocking my head I pondered over the situation. Replayed what happened earlier and the way she was acting now. Snapping those rubber bands and chewing insestantly on her bottom lip. There were so many things I wanted to ask her. Too many questions I had. But I knew now wasn't the time. Scooting myself closer to her I brought my arm around her waist. It was the first contact we had made since she arrived and it felt nice. Before I could grown to enjoy it though she was up quicker than ever. Her nose scrunched and a face full of discontempt.**

**"What the hell was that?" Her vocals screeched as she stood in front of me, arms crossed.**

**"Wh...I...What was what?" Pulling at the collar of my t-shirt I swallowed sharply.**

**"You...God Lucas you can't just do that." I didn't understand why she was so angry. What had I done wrong? Placing an arm around her was honestly that dreadful?**

**"I can't be close to my best friend? We haven't exchanged any sort of affection since you arrived and the first time I even try you.."**

**"Exactly Luke the first time." Throwing her hands up in the air and then letting them dramatically crash to her sides she begins pacing back and forth. Her eyes glisten with persperation and I curse to myself for making her cry yet again. **

**"You know seeing Skillz at the river court after all these years." Shaking her head and letting more tears fall from her delicate face she choked out. "It took my breath away. I didn't realize how much I had truly missed him these past years." Running her hands through her hair I step forward wanting to bring her any sort of comfort but she holds up a hand stopping my actions. "For the last six years I've thought about what it would be like. What I would say to you when I saw you again. How I would feel when I looked into your crystal blue eyes. I dreamed so many nights wanting to grasp what it could be like to be held by you. Not a day went by when I didn't imagine your voice in my head. Your hand tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. The smell of your detergent. When Carl would bea...yell at my mom, when they would argue I would run off to my room and reach for your old sweatshirt. I'd throw it over my head and breathe in the scent. I'd cling to it tightly pretending I was back at your house. Your arms hugging to me perfectly." I watched as her voice broke with each continuing word. Her tears drowning her face. "Every day...every damn day Luke I talked to you. Maybe not actually but in my mind, in words on paper, I told you everything." She stepped over to me. My heart breaking as her lips quivered in sadness. Reaching for my hand I let her take a hold of it. Looking me in the eyes she whispered fearfully. "I missed Skillz Lucas. I missed him a lot. But you, you I didn't just miss. You I needed. God I needed you so much. You'll never understand it." Looking to the sky she held my hand all the more tighter. "I thought that when I got here you would see how much I needed you. How much I still need you." Dropping my hand she stepped away from me once again. Stepping up the stairs that lead to the front door she called. "But what I needed you didn't even offer. Hell you couldn't even look me in the eye when saying hello."**


End file.
